Foot #2

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STILL TRI-ING

BROKEN FOOT – THE SEQUEL

No more itchy cast, smells better too.

Tan where cast was, matches that under my underwear.

No more hanger pokes in my foot while trying to scratch.

Can wear that new left foot running shoe again.

Left shoe definitely does not look like right shoe. Can you buy just a right shoe?

For Sale: One pair Reebok Ironman Trainers, one shoe hardly used.

Can now go buy some new pants.

For Sale: Several pairs of slacks and jeans, all have a matching slit on left side.

Can go bowling again, cast did not slide well on lane approach.

Can start working out again on bike, running, and swimming.

Start losing that inner tube shape around my mid-section, my belt was at the last hole.

Irritate my wife and her friends, by losing my weight faster than they can in their aerobics class.

Can now take hot showers again, without having to wrap up cast in plastic bag.

Can now get all the way in hot tub; don’t have to prop up foot on edge.

Have now graduated from washing and folding duties.

Wife now says I’m too good at laundry to stop now.

Can now mow the yard, oh boy.

Now that I can workout again, someone will have to tell me what happens on the evening soaps.

Now that the cast is gone, I will not have to answer that question for the millionth time, “What happened?”

Wife says that I can go upstairs to check on the kids for the next year now.

Now that my foot doesn’t hurt anymore, working out makes everything else hurt.

A poor performance at the races this year, is always followed with the excuse, “well, I’m recovering from a broken foot.”

Fellow competitors acknowledge that my performance is probably more due to the visible fact that my belly is bigger.

I can tell those beating me now, “Enjoy it while you can, I’ll be back.”

I have enjoyed my family more since being laid up.