Tri Fever

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STILL TRI-ING

YOU KNOW YOU HAVE TRIATHLON FEVER WHEN:

You put your swim goggles on, just to turn on the lawn sprinkler.

You assign wave-starting times for your kids to run through the sprinkler.

You lay out your pajamas on a towel, transition-style, on the floor next to your bed.

You eat over the table in the aero-position.

Even during fine dining, you drink out of a bike bottle.

Your church shoes are Look and SPD compatible.

Your idea of candy is Powerbars and Powergels.

You record nightly splits for getting ready for bed such as bathing, brushing your teeth, and putting on pajamas.

You bring clip-on aerobars to the grocery for the cart.

You do a 10K in a Speedo.

You buy a car to match your bike.

Your most important accessory on that new car is the bike rack.

You wear a heart rate monitor to mow the lawn.

You fuss at that Italian restaurant waiter because they don’t serve Mrs. T’s Pierogies.

You consider standing in the Communion line at Church as drafting.

You require your employees to complete a triathlon for their yearly raise.

You show up at a formal social function in a Quintana Roo Longjohn.

All of your fine jewelry is made up of triangular shapes.

You believe that golfers should have to swim, bike, and/or run after their golf balls.

You believe that a weekly primetime TV drama should have a triathlon basis.

You thought that Viagra was for keeping up with the race leaders.

You believe that Disney World should have a Triathlon Kingdom.

You believe that all motels should be required to have at least a 25-meter lap pool.

You show up with your goggles and bicycle, at run races.

You tell everyone that your athletic background is triathlon.

Barry Laningham